Are you planning to hard sell your business to new networking referrals?  You might want to read this first if you want connection instead of rejection.

A few days ago, someone I’d met last year at a networking group called me during business hours.  “Mary” said she wasn’t calling to take advantage of my services, instead, she’d said she’d just sent me an email about “something,” but realized she “should have” let me know it was coming first, so she’s calling now.

(Okay, not the best strategy, I thought … but what the heck.  And given how much difficulty she was having in even introducing herself, I think a few sessions with me might have been a really good idea, but I digress.)

So, with her on the phone, I looked for the bulk email, which was tagged and buried in my “junk” email box.  (An omen perhaps?)  When I opened it, I saw that it was a direct marketing email touting a health supplement from a direct sales company (aka “multi-level marketing”).  As I was scanning the message, Mary pointed out the link taking readers to a 14-minute presentation … and then she launched into a hard sell of her product/service.

At this point, she began to strike out on my personal baseball field.

Strike 1!  She interrupted my work day with an unsolicited call … not to inquire about my services but to do a hard sell about hers.  And, she added a request that I take even more time to listen/watch a long presentation about the product she was selling, and then get back to her about it.   Despite the fact that we’d met once, this was an intrusion, and one with a rather brazen assignment of homework!  I also recognized she was pitching a product I wouldn’t ever want (nor would buy from a MLM sales person).  So, I used polite “exit language” to end the call: “Thank you, if it looks like something I might use, I’ll contact you…”

But…  Strike 2!   Instead of honoring my cues to exit the call, she began a hard sell.   At this point, I will admit, I was annoyed, and switched gears from “coach” to “consumer.”  I told Mary, “Look, I need you to know that this is not something I would use, and I won’t be getting back to you about it, okay?”  She asked why, and I explained.

And… Strike 3!  She began to ARGUE.  She didn’t honor my objections with a “yes-but” strategy to overcome objections, she just tried to reject my rationale. I finally managed to bring the the conversation to a end.  She actually muttered, “Well, good luck,”  and abruptly hung up.

And — She’s OUT!   Here’s why:

Of course entrepreneurs network in order find new contacts to whom we can promote our businesses.  But when it’s time to do the sell, you must choose the right time and attitude, and tailor your delivery to the individual.  For example, did this person express interest in your business when you met?  Did they approach you or are you pursuing them?  If they’ve conveyed interest, then put on your best sales attitude and go for it!  But if you have been the one to “cold call” or target another person, you need to listen actively and respond appropriately.  And that often means knowing when to graciously exit while keeping the doors open.  AND NO ARGUING!

If Mary had tried any of these active listening/considered responses techniques,  we might have ended on positive terms.  I may have been inclined to pass on her information to someone who might have been open to it.  Instead, we have surely deleted one another as potential clients, contacts and referrals.  Instead of successful connection, it was a mutual reject.